I am going to this great knitting conference, I'm enthusiastic about the subject matter, I'm excited about the classes, I'm eager for the time to relax, but I am stressed out over not having any knit socks to wear while I'm there. The two pairs I've knit for myself are house socks and so way too thick to wear in shoes and all the rest have been given away. But have I knit any socks?
In fact I've started a pair for Bob. They were going to be a surprise for his birthday (another expected, predictable, and pretty clear deadline), but those aren't going to be done either. And then, I've swatched for Bobby's socks, but haven't actually started those. All of this knitting has fallen prey to these lines of death: otherwise known as "deadlines." But they are in fact lines of death when it comes to so many parts of my life and crafting in particular.
It seems that whenever I get going with something I'm all full-steam-ahead-no-holding-back-going-for-it. But, if I set myself a deadline, usually because it's a gift, then I suddenly get all bogged down about it. Bob thinks the deadline makes me feel like I have to do it.
I can see that. How many of us talk about loving to read, unless we're told to for school (one of the problems I see in education)? And I think our culture sometimes makes us resistant to the idea of having to do anything. Our first knee-jerk reaction, sometimes it's really small and barely noticeable, tends to be along the lines of, "make me." At least, mine tends to be.
I don't think that entirely accounts for my total lack of productivity this time though. It's not just the deadlines, but because I have many crafting loves. My passion waxes and wanes for each in its turn and so I sometimes find myself thinking and dreaming and planning for knitting projects as though I had never even owned a sewing machine much less crazy amounts of fabric. And other times I couldn't care less if I ever knit another thing in my life I'm so wrapped up in sewing and quilting ideas. (And I'd like to add painting and dyeing fabric and spinning to the mix.)
Usually it's not a big problem. I'm able to work on the kinds of projects I'd like to until my pendulum of interest swings the other way. And, it means that I'm almost always working on something. At Christmas it's great. The ridiculous number of people I try to make things for, combined with the huge deadline, means I can pretty much be guaranteed to get a good number of projects finished no matter which craft I'm being seduced by at the time.
But right now, it's not so good. I have a knitting deadline, yet I am totally jazzed about sewing. I have a quilt I'm planning and I'm really excited about it. I'm also thinking about several skirts I have the fabric for. I have a scrap quilt I want to draft out. In short, I'm just generally excited about sewing. Knitting is kind of not on my radar. It's something I know I should be doing, but I can't bring myself to accomplish anything.
It doesn't help that I know I should be packing as well.